Jokes told to me

  • Two cannibals were eating a clown. One stops and asks “does this taste funny?”

  • A blonde is ordering a pizza. When asked if she wants it cut into 6 or 12 slices. She responds, "6 please. I could never eat 12 pieces."

  • What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.

  • The blonde cleaning lady just quit. Apparently she couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer.

  • A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while another blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the riqht!..."

  • Masters

    Dear virgins... if your old enough to flirt, your old enough to squirt!

  • @Fritz_Fokker that's your dumbest one yet.

  • Masters

    @Fritz_Fokker 😂😂😂 we need more of these here 👌

  • @Øwl @swatllama Thanks guys! I am happy you like the jokes.:smiley:

  • The reward for a job well done is……… more work.

  • Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
    A: Envelope.

  • Java: write once, debug everywhere.

  • What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs!

  • Hmmm..... If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?

  • @Fritz_Fokker said in Jokes told to me:

    Java: write once, debug everywhere.

    Problem is, that's not a joke.

  • Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

  • A blonde was walking down the street and saw a sign in a store window that said "Help Wanted," so she ran in the store and yelled out, "What's wrong?!"

  • I just love pressing F5. It is so refreshing.

  • The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX!

  • A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results.

    "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."
    "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"


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