Jokes told to me
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Virginity is like a bubble. One prick and its all gone.
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Marriage is like a game of poker. You start of with a pair and end with a full house.
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Confucius say… balloon factory will go out of business if it can't keep up with inflation.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
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I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
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Whiteboards are remarkable.
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Two cannibals were eating a clown. One stops and asks “does this taste funny?”
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A blonde is ordering a pizza. When asked if she wants it cut into 6 or 12 slices. She responds, "6 please. I could never eat 12 pieces."
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What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
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The blonde cleaning lady just quit. Apparently she couldn’t figure out how to refill the hand dryer.
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A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself. She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring. Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while another blonde inside the car is saying, "A little more to the left...a little more to the riqht!..."
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Dear virgins... if your old enough to flirt, your old enough to squirt!
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@Fritz_Fokker that's your dumbest one yet.
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@Fritz_Fokker 😂😂😂 we need more of these here 👌
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@Øwl @swatllama Thanks guys! I am happy you like the jokes.
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The reward for a job well done is……… more work.
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Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
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Java: write once, debug everywhere.
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What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs!
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Hmmm..... If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?
